Research has consistently shown that people tend to have stronger bonds with their maternal relatives, particularly their maternal grandmothers. This phenomenon is known as the “matrilineal advantage.” According to sociologist Sonia Salari, who teaches family studies at the University of Utah, the majority of her students are closest to their maternal grandmothers. The number of students who report being close to their paternal grandparents is significantly lower.
The Role of Women in Kinkeeping
One key factor contributing to the matrilineal advantage is the role of women in kinkeeping. Women are more likely to take on the responsibility of maintaining family relationships, including calling and visiting relatives, remembering birthdays, and organizing family events. This invisible labor helps to strengthen bonds between family members and creates a sense of closeness. According to gerontologist Kathrin Boerner, kinkeeping is not just about hosting family gatherings but also about ensuring that everyone gets along.
The Impact of Gender Roles
The division of labor in families also plays a significant role in the matrilineal advantage. Women are often expected to take on more childcare and household responsibilities, which can lead to tighter relationships between children and their maternal relatives. Research has shown that mothers are more likely to receive babysitting help from their own family members rather than their husband’s family, further strengthening these bonds.
The Benefits of Paternal Involvement
However, research suggests that when fathers are more involved in parenting and kinkeeping, they can develop stronger bonds with their children and their extended family. Studies have shown that fathers who take paternity leave are more engaged with their kids throughout the first years of their lives. This increased involvement can also lead to stronger relationships between children and their paternal relatives.
Breaking the Cycle
The matrilineal advantage can be a vicious cycle, where adults feel distant from their father’s side, reinforcing the association between maternal relatives and family in general. However, if more dads were engaged in parenting and kinkeeping, they might need to rely on their relatives for help, shifting the expectations for paternal kin involvement.
The Importance of Equitable Parental Leave
Advocates argue that equitable parental leave policies could help to promote more involved fatherhood and strengthen children’s bonds with their whole extended family. By giving fathers the opportunity to take on more childcare responsibilities, we can work towards creating a more balanced and equitable family dynamic.
The matrilineal advantage is a complex phenomenon influenced by a range of factors, including kinkeeping, gender roles, and paternal involvement. While it may be a challenge to break the cycle of distant relationships with paternal relatives, research suggests that increased paternal involvement can have numerous benefits for families.
A More Inclusive Family Dynamic
By promoting more equitable parental leave policies and encouraging fathers to take on more childcare responsibilities, we can work towards creating a more inclusive family dynamic. This can help to strengthen relationships between children and their paternal relatives, ultimately leading to a more supportive and connected family network.
